Serious entry on ANNOYING PEOPLE DURING MY PREGNANCIES

When I was pregnant with my first child, people keep asking whether I wanted a girl or a boy. I found it a bit annoying because you were not given a [GIRL] or [BOY] buttons to push, to determine your baby's sex. It was all decided by Allah looonnnggggg time ago. Honestly I didnt mind whether it is a boy or a girl. Boy or girl will equally showers our family with happiness. I didnt get it why people are SO excited to know my preference. I mean, what difference would it make to their life?

On 4 December 2005, Nabil was born. He is a BOY. We were extremely happy. WE STILL ARE. And there were people who were like, "A boy?! You know, dressing up a baby girl is a lot more fun. There are endless styles to choose from. Clothes for baby boy is very limited. You gotta have a girl. It is more fun!". WTF? Lesson #1, there are annoying people in this world. I have to accept the fact. 

I didnt mind if people asked me the result of the ultrasound. Is it a boy or a girl? I dont mind because I already have the solid answer. But, please dont ask me my preference. DO YOU WANT A BOY OR A GIRL THIS TIME? No, that is not a smart thing to ask. Well, maybe to other people it is OK. But NOT ME.

Then, I was pregnant with my second child. The same old thing happened. "You want it to be a boy or a girl?".  OMG, could you please stop that? There were endless remarks like, "I hope this one is a girl because you already have a boy", "Kalau sepasang, barulah best, kan?", "I know you really want a girl right now". THE TRUTH IS... I DONT MIND AT ALL!!!! Whether it is a boy or a girl, I DONT MIND!!! Honestly, I dont mind. As long as my baby is healthy physically and mentally, it is enough for me. I wouldnt ask for more. I started to be more annoyed during second pregnancy.

On 14 July 2007, Nazreen popped out. He is a BOY too. We were extremely happy. WE STILL ARE. He is so cute. Then came the MORE annoying part - "Ni kena tambah lagi ni, takde perempuan lagi ni...", "I know you reaaaaalllllly wants a GIRL. I feel you". WTF??? They were  frustrated with the fact that I have more son. Hmm... why? WHAT DIFFERENCE WOULD IT MAKE TO YOUR LIFE? Lesson #2, STUPID PEOPLE do exists. I have to embrace the fact and live with it.

Then, I have the third bun in the oven. Weee!!! This time, we took a long time to break the news to everyone. Not that I didnt prepare or not happy with the third pregnancy, but I need a break from annoying and stupid people around me (NOT ALL). When we broke the great news, JUST AS WE EXPECTED, the same old things happened especially when we havent cut Nazreen's hair since he was born. His hair is getting longer and they think I am DESPERATELY WANTED A DAUGHTER.

NO. His hair is so soft, brownish and beautiful. We love Nazreen's hair very much and we decided not to cut it for a while. It wasnt because we really want a GIRL. Having a son with a long hair doesnt mean that we want to turn him into a daughter. It doesnt make any sense. I dont groom his hair. I dont put any ribbon on his hair. I dont put him in a dress. I dont buy him high heels (I know a couple of parents who bought baby high heels for their baby).

Then come the MORE annoying part when we found out that the baby is a boy. A lady came to me and ask whether she could take my baby and look after him, after I delivered my bundle of joy in a couple of weeks. I was left speechless. LADY, YOU JUST CANT GO AROUND ASKING PEOPLE FOR THEIR BABY, OK?!!! IT IS WRONG. She didnt ask me once, but she asked me THREE TIMES in three different occasions. She only have a daughter and she wanted more child. And when she knew I was pregnant with my third child - and thinking THREE IS TOO MUCH AND I MIGHT NOT WANT 3 SONS - she decided to ask me for my child. That was wrong. That is wrong. I will not give my child to anyone. for anything. never.

I just cant understand WHY. WHY oh WHY?

I can afford my big family. I love having big family. I love having three sons or more. Why on earth there were people who think that I didnt want my child and can just simply give him away?

OMG. WHY? Seriously. WHY?

On 2 December 2008, Nazran came into this world. He is a BOY. WE WERE and WE ARE HAPPY TO HAVE OUR THIRD SON INTO THIS WORLD. I got these a lot - "Lelaki lagi???!!!", "Seriously sister, you need to get pregnant again and get a baby girl", "Do you want to have a football team?", "I am sure you are disappointed to get another baby boy". And lots more. STUPID. MINDLESS PEOPLE.

The super annoying part was, when a man, in fact a very respectable man, informed me that Mrs X just delivered her third daughter a few week ago and "I think you should contact her and ask if she can give her baby to you. She already have two daughters. I am sure she will let you take her baby. You must have longing for a daughter". I was again, left speechless. LFLD. WHY on earth do you think that [normal] people will simply give away their baby to other people???

AND why are you giving me the suggestion? Seriously. WHY?
Do you think I didnt have respect to Mrs X who has been carrying her lovely baby X for nine months in her womb? Why did you ask me to take her baby? Just because you THINK that I had enough of sons and I wanted a daughter?

NO. I am not that STUPID. I am not that cruel. I dont know, maybe I had a different upbringing that makes me think differently and have totally different mentality from those TWO people. I just didnt get it WHY they can just simply (1) want to take away my son; and (2) ask me to take other people's daughter. STUPID.

Seriously stupid. I can type STUPID ten thousand times more, just to make my point on how stupid the ideas were. Lesson #3 by typing the word STUPID many times, it actually calms you down.

And right now, I am pregnant with my fourth baby. We broke the news when I was 4 months pregnant, when I couldnt hide my bump anymore. As we are expected, we keep receiving the same remarks. Non-stop. I started to hate some of them, who didnt stop bugging me with STUPID questions and STUPID remarks and STUPID suggestions EVERY TIME WE MET. There are people RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU WHO HAVE ONLY ONE DAUGHTER, or ONLY ONE SON. GO PUT THE PRESSURE ON THEM! Ask them to  produce more babies! I already have 3. 

The best line so far is, "It would be great if you have a daughter this time, after three sons. But, you cant just stop there. Your daughter need a sister to play with. You dont let your daughter to play with her brothers all the times. She will be a tomboy when she grow up".

IS THAT STUPID OR WHAT?
For them, it is WRONG to have another SON because I already have three sons.
For them, it is also WRONG  to have ONLY ONE DAUGHTER, if this baby happened to be a girl. I NEED TO GET PREGNANT AGAIN so my daughter would have a SISTER to play with. WTF? They just didnt know when to stop talking. 

My husband was so patience and calm for the past pregnancies, despite having to deal with mindless people around us, but I can see him losing it slowly this time :) haha. 

When my cousin delivered her fifth sons, I was so happy and said,"This is great! You have five sons to take care of you in the future!". That's all. She is happy. I am happy. There is no need to ask her to get pregnant again in order to have a daughter. No need to ask whether she is frustrated knowing the fifth one is also a boy. No need for all that. Just say the positive things. If you didnt have anything good to say, just shut up and let me enjoy the moment.

If you really want us to have a daughter, just pray silently. 

Stupid people should migrate (in)to Bermuda Triangle. now.

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Oh ya, by the way. My fourth baby is also a BOY. He was born on 1 February 2013.
You can read more about us in my HAPPY blog (here).