my skin

I have tried many facial products, from the most expensive to the cheapest because I have a very sensitive skin. I could not afford to have direct contact with anything that contains soda/produce bubble for my skin will break as if it just being poured with acid. YA. That serious. it hurts.

But, after I had my first son, the level of sensitivity became lower and it can tolerate some bubbly products (including Axion) **yay! now I can do my dishes!!** and some baby products. During my pregnancies, it was disastrous. The first one : the most terrible skin allergy I ever experienced. Lotsa sick leaves for I cant stand the itchiness/pain. The second baby : Quite bad but I can stand it. And right now, I took extra caution for my third pregnancy, for any allergy could be worse during this term. I religiously applied lotion and keep my body moist all the time. Alhamdulillah. No sign of serious allergy. yet. One bottle of lotion per week.

independent

i choose to be independent in doing my work. I surf the Internet for things that I find hard to comprehend. I go through old files to search for the history. And I never stop until I get the information I am searching for. But I never asked my colleague to get the relevant files and put it on my table. Or e-mail me what ever he/she have in their computer. Without taking much effort.

I recently had an encounter with THAT kind. So fussy and he seems like he could not do single work without anyone else spoon feeding him. It was so irritating as he always told everybody on how perfect he is.

He was very outspoken. I saw how he could SAY what ever he wanted to say to who ever he want. But he never do that to me because I had sent some signal of "never mess with me" the first day we met. Anyway, seems he was so fussy today and I couldn't stand it for another hour since I have urgent chores to do... so I choose to give him a silent treatment. Starting from... NOW.

thanks

was watching TV just now. . out of oscar spirit, i wanna thank :

my husband for taking care of the kids and give me time for myself to study for my exam. He fed and bathe them, took them out and make sure they're asleep before he keep me company until early morning. He will not sleep and leave me study all by myself.

i was so tense back then. he asked me out and we bought a couple of golf thing for lady (is it golf club or golf stick? - i really don't know), a child's car seat (we already have 3 - i have no idea why we agreed to bought that), a discman (again, no idea), couple of rubber thing for the kids to play with (50 cent each) and HE CHARGED IT TO MY CREDIT CARD. I really like it when he did that.

my superior because he continue with my work at the office. something that we've started last year and hopefully it will end before this year ends. i am glad the report is in a good hand for i don't have to worry about work until next month.

my fren who keep SMS me everyday till late at night to tell me that she dozed off while studying and she don't think she could complete the syllabus for the exam. It somehow boost my mood. But more importantly, it makes my day. we never communicate this much until this moment. This exam brings us together :o)

butterscotch sauce

I always like butterscotch ice cream. Here how you can make you own butterscotch sauce and enjoy it with your vanilla ice cream.

Melt a cup of coarse sugar until it turns light brown (as in caramel). Stir continuously. Then add desired amount of cream (or fresh milk). Stir well until it thicken. Then, you can take it off the fire. Don't overdo it or else it'll become bitter. Keep it refrigerated. I keep my butterscotch sauce in a clear air tight jar in a refrigerator.

How to enjoy it :
1. Pour two to three teaspoon of cold butterscotch sauce into a glass. Put three scoops of vanilla ice cream on top of it. Then, pour another batch of the sauce on top. Sprinkle crushed cornflakes, chopped almond or dried fruit on top of it. Enjoy your ice cream!

2. You can use it to flavour your jelly.

Aggrandize

(uh GRAN dyze)

Definition: (verb) To exaggerate one’s accomplishments; to make something seem greater.

Example: The minister’s public relations staff always aggrandized his accomplishments, hoping to increase his reputation and popularity.

I always aggrandized my day to make my blog more appealing :o)

Synonyms: boost, commend, dignify

classic

[I just came back from an annual dinner which I was awarded with "THE BEST DRESS" or the prom queen, as they announced it. Can't stop smiling until now]

Suddenly i really like to listen to classical music. I can't get enough of beethoven, tchaikovsky, mozart, chopin and the rest of the gang. OMG, it was so relaxing and refreshing! (except for sugar plum fairy - I will feel frightened/depressed whenever I hear that). Am I turning into a complicated being slowly? I rather not answer that. I told my friend that and she asked me, "SO, do you like to listen to michaelangelo as well?" (yeah, very resourceful). 

Emm.. do I have to answer that or do I just have to let her discover the truth herself? 

I was to me like... I tell someone I love to eat corn, celery, strawberry and peach and that somebody will ask, "do you like to eat a lorry as well?".

it

I had enough questions since i published the harassment. Anyway, it happened long time ago and it was not as bad as you imagine. Small matter je. Nothing la :o)

harassment

There are two useless person in this world who can make me stunned and remain motionless for a moment, or two. I saw one of them today.

I was a victim of sexual harassment during high school. He was my classmate. He talked about dirty things he watched in the xxx videos with my other classmates while his parent was away, making dirty sounds and showing 'gestures' to me. I can't afford to run away all the times because we were in the same class. He said my constant rejection turned him on (WHAT?). Until one day, I can't take it anymore. Really, I was a very decent girl back then, I AM too now. So I turned to the school counselor (yeah, as if you can call him that!).

The counselor ended up telling my story to his colleagues (wanna hear about interesting case i'm working on right now??) and worst, he told MY CLASSMATE about my report. This kind of news spread fast. Surprisingly, the maniac got all the support he needs. He was an athlete, the best football player, the charming class president, a cadet... and the list goes on. 

Suddenly, I was the bad one. Then, things got out of hand and I suffered a lot. The ex - head prefect (he graduated a year before) have to pick me up from my home, to go to the school and waited for me at the canteen in the afternoon, to send me back home - everyday - for a couple of weeks for safety purposes. And my class teacher gave me a week off, for me to relax at home and not to meet these guys. I blamed myself for telling the counselor and for not being patience with the harassment. Really, I didn't think SHARING THIS TYPE OF STORY with others, is the right thing to do (now you know why some victim choose to keep it for themselves).

I swear I will hate all counselors on earth from that moment. It was almost 12 years ago. And guess what, I still did. I can't tolerate any dirty talks and those who likes to discuss about dirty things. Or mention something dirty. Dirty jokes. Dirty everything.  

SHAME ON YOU, MR. COUNSELOR.

The best thing is, I survived. I am successful now.  and LOOK AT THEM.

toilet

I am all worn out. I dozed off while driving back from the convention centre. Then, during the journey to the office the next day. And today.

I need an answer for this question. help.

I'd noticed, whenever I walk into the ladies', there will be used TISSUES in the WCs. What did you use that for, ladies? If you want to wipe something and then throw it in the WC, it would be flushed away when you, urm, flush. But, if the THING still there after you left, that's mean you WIPE something AFTER you flushed and BEFORE you went out. Why can't you throw it into the proper bin? Why must you throw it into the WC and left it there as it is useful for the next person who use the WC? It seems to happen everywhere (even at the convention centre!) and I still can't find the reason behind it. I never did that. Why ah?

sport

My husband have a THING about golf but I don’t consider him a golfer since he only did that occasionally (well, I don’t allowed him to go out often especially at night). I keep his golf set in my car boot and as long as I have my car with me at the office basement… I know he is not going near the green.

It’s not that I am controlling him. He is a very active person. But he had a leg injury that never HEALS completely due to his stubbornness. Last time he played football, but it is way too “youngster” for me. Then he moved to futsal, which is more flexible in term of timing. (You can’t play football on the field during thunderstorm, can u?). When his injury became worse, he shifted to badminton. He bought the whole set for the whole family in a huge bag that can fit the country’s badminton team’s set (yeah, exaggerating).

Then suddenly he plays golf. And he asked me to tag along. While someone else enjoys doing outdoor activities with their friends, I am really glad my husband likes to do this with the whole family… our happy family.

At first, I think I only want to stick to my bow and arrows. But it is not baby-friendly and dangerous especially when we bring kids to the field because when we shoot, it means, WE REALLY SHOOT. We can’t stop the arrow. Imagine the rest.

camping

I started to go camping since I was 11. I like leech and I love snake. I will pick up a leech whenever I come across one and put it in my palm and enjoy watching it sucking out my filthy blood. I once kept a snake as a pet until I married my husband. He can’t even stand the view of it so I have to let it go. Furthermore, Deni was sick. She bit me 5 times. She lost 6 of her fangs; buried deep in my flesh after rampant attacks. She has no big fang to kill even a small frog afterward. I let her go so that she could hunt for a suitable menu of a suitable size everyday.

I camped out so often that I put a target of 50 before I complete my Form Five. Accomplished. I had experiences where I went into the jungle alone, with my backpack and WITH a hope that any group camping in the jungle, will let me join them. (sounds stupid and dangerous rite now, but NOT then). (YES, I was that insane) Usually the group I met in the jungle welcomes me with arm wide open. I know people who really loves nature will not harm any being. All of them were kind. 

ONE of them helped me with my thesis afterward (can u imagine, I met an Electrical Engineer in my random jungle expedition? He constructed a lighting and wiring system for my thesis building, FOC – I owe him big time. The panel lovesssss the lighting effect!!).

I’d climbed some mountains. Which I don’t think telling others will make them look at me as any better than before. Climbing mountain has nothing special to it, for me. I didn’t feel excited to climb because it would be a very torturing journey to the top. I wasn’t happy when I reach the top because I still have long way down to go. And I am not happy reaching the land below because I had spent hours climbing and now I am back to the square one?? What the???

I also had experience canoeing along Nenggiri River@Gua Musang. Teh tarik colour river with 35 raging rapids. We constructed a steel frame canoe and tied 6 rubber tubes to it. And we sat on the tube :o) from dawn to dust, for three days. My canoe capsized and I nearly-drown. I can see the life flashes before me. Then only I understand why they always show that scene in the movies. It is really true. Everything flashes quickly, my mom’s face, my dad, my birthday celebration, the picture of me laughing with my sister, playing with my brother…. It was all displayed in front of my very eyes. I am sure I will be dead in a matter of second because I can’t manage to get out of the water. We capsized at the raging rapid and the current was very strong at the bottom. I was moving fast under the water. I hit big hard rocks several times and I don’t think I can stand another hit. They suddenly someone grabbed my shirt and whoa! Oxygen!!

It was a fun trip despite the near-death experience. But I suffer a fashion disaster for six months after that. No colour of tudung in my wardrobe matches my new skin tone (which is 10 times darker). And I end up buying the whole new make up set and the whole bunch of tudung to go with my temporary African look.

I love outdoor but I have to forget it now. At least until my child started their primary school. My in-laws still won’t believe me when I told them I camped out a lot and I did this and that. But, when I think of it, with my down to earth personality (am I?), with my fragile look (my in-laws said that), observant rather than talkative… who would??

learn

Since last year, I talked over the phone about numbers of congresses, with a Datuk. He has a very nice deep voice and I can tell he really keep himself posted because he can remember every detail I told him about my sons and everything. Just now, I met him. *wink* *wink* Mr. Nice Voice :o)

What I learn from him is I need to remember every single detail about anyone I deal with. PR skill is important. Jot down everything they said. Get to know their personal life a bit and ask them about it (How’s your baby? He already starts on solid food? How’s your allergy? etc) whenever I get a chance. They will really appreciate that. I know I do :p

My bosses approved my two days off. Thank God. Now I can have a break.

When I’ll be a boss someday : I will approve my staff’s day off because they applied it for a reason. They have the right to take days off. I will not deny their rights.

I am free a bit today but I have bundle of letters to be checked. I don’t know where to start and that’s really trouble me. Seems like I work more efficient when I’m in tense condition.

Saturday

I have to work today, on Saturday. I went for the rehearsal at the convention centre early in the morning and now, back to the office after receiving urgent call from my superior. I really miss sending my son to the nursery (again...). And I really feel bad calling my staff to the office on their day-off. Last nite I went back at 11pm with my son (my husband came to the office at 9pm and leave my son here because he's going for his golf therapy).

Tomorrow morning (Sunday), I have to be at the convention centre for a two days seminar where I was appointed as the floor manager and (umph..) rappoteur. I had applied for two days-off before my exam and I really wanted to see whether the BOSSES will allow me to take leave or not. Let's see.

God knows how much I am worried working (like crazy) like this endlessly. I tried to get my priority straight but I can't. I really pity my husband and my mom and my dad because my son is a very handful one :o) (But the other one is extremely adorable!!)

Enough of that.

xk

I'd received an SMS from a potential buyer. He interested to buy xk units of (my company's product)... My husband discussed with him over the phone just now and i must say that it really makes my day. Yeah, there is still bless in disguised!

being patience with all this = worth it.

mean

After reading my previous posts, i feel mean. I usually didn't make personal attack in my public posts. But, in this case, it will not be personal when people who read this and the people i mentioned in the post, didn't know each other. Totally different group of people. So, I am safe :o)

See, still smiling...

I am going to leave all my work here, in my room. All documents for my meeting tomorrow, I will not read because it is already 5.45pm, way passed my working hour. I am going to Dunkin Donuts to study for my exam. Planning to study at Starbucks, but at this time of the day, many people hanging out there. It will defeat the purpose. I will end up observing youngsters' behaviour and their sense of fashion for a couple of hours. Wish me luck.

labour pain

I am being honest and logical. I never look down upon someone else while giving out my point of view (am never categorised anyone as narrow-minded for their opinion). Opinions are subjective. Now I would like to share something on labour pain. See how you are going to counter that.<:o>

This whole approach to talking about pain in labour during pregnancy needs a radical overhaul. Begin with an explanation about the nature and purpose of the pain itself, the role of endorphins and then explore the instinctive measures that women have used for centuries to make labour more comfortable: being upright, moving about, keeping eyes closed, being in a dark place, companion of choice etc. An emphasis on the impact of drugs on the baby, their effect on breastfeeding and potential side effects for the woman must also be part of the story.

The books that women buy in their bid to fully prepare themselves for birth and parenting (as if this is possible from a book!) may also be feeding into a woman's lack of confidence. Take a look at any book about pregnancy and birth on the shelf in your local bookstore. Tucked away in an appropriate chapter will be found messages about "learning how to breathe" in labour and the importance of learning how to be relaxed if birth is to be easy and the pain bearable. The very idea that women need to learn "how to breathe" in order to give birth well is an insult that affects confidence. There is no evidence that "the breathing" works to relieve pain - it is just another form of intervention. Are the authors of these books reflecting the muddled thinking of those midwives whose need for control over women during birth also extends to those mantras heard in labour wards ("just give us another little push", "push, push, push ... now puff, pant, pant..."!) in second stage?

A common complaint from midwives is that ‘there is no time' to spend with women in labour supporting them through the process. Being "with women" during birth often requires very little of the midwife. Giving the woman more space and privacy and doing less rather than more gives a woman a chance to realises that she can do it "by herself". Giving drugs and using complementary therapies, instead of easing the midwife's load, actually increases it, as she will need to constantly check for adverse effects and monitor the impact they are having on the normal birth process.

If we are to change women's belief systems about pain in labour we need a consistent message from all sources: the books written for expectant parents, the messages given during preparation for birth classes, the behaviours of midwives around women in labour and most importantly...We also need insight into why we are so scared of pain in labour that we will go to almost any lengths to remove it as much as we can.

<:o>

commitment

We had a new director last week. I can feel she looked at me and some of my colleagues as the big cheese in her division. She trusted me with one after another huge tasks and am afraid I will be wound up in this big pile of works forever. I was burning the candle at both ends by all odds because some guys are only dragging their heels in the team.

I am a mother of two and a wife to my husband (yeah, of course..). It wasn't easy at one point of time where all of them were down with a disease and I was stucked in the office over the weekend to work. I have to set my priority straight.

later.

nice

i'm sick of being nice.
but i have no other choice.
a man is known by the company he keeps.
period.

XL vs XS

I can’t help but to listen to one unhealthy conversation last two days. They were looking at the photo with one big size guy in it and these are the part of their says :
“He is the first thing I noticed when I see this photo”
“Wow! That is a very huge tummy!”
“Oh, pity him. I heard he is easily worn out just by walking around the office…”
“Am going to tell his wife that her husband needs to put off some weight..”

I met a lot of sensitive BIG SIZE people. And I met a lot of inconsiderate SKINNY people. These inconsiderate people always making fun of the big sizes because they feel their size is ideal and better. They can’t help laughing at the big sizes, saying they should put off some weight, they should control their meal intake, big people smells bad, they should exercise more, bla bla bla (and the list goes on). Do you think it is easy for them? I have many big size friends and I am sure they didn’t ask for that. Does genetic factor brings any mean to you?? I am not writing here to comment on their efforts or to support their existing lifestyle. I am writing to tell people out there, STOP BEING MEAN. Period.

office

I will lose one of my best staff. Someone advised her to transfer to other unit (I know who you are). I can feel she will go for that. I want to do that long time ago but I decided to stay because I love them so much. We made a very good team regardless the agonizing moments we have to face everyday.

I gave her an OK mark for her annual appraisal. She is good in her work but lack in other field. Balance in all fields will guarantee a high mark. That’s the best I can do and I will not just simply upgrade out of sympathy. She should fight for herself more and she should improve in many ways. I can’t always be there to fight for everybody.

A person sees us differently. We might think we’ve done a good job, but for them, we didn’t meet the expectation. I realize that when I received my own mark. Thought I had done so much, but somehow, no one sees it. I really fight for it and I got a better mark afterwards.

But, really, sometimes we just have to make do.

packaging

I am glad Ribena had shifted their heavy and thick glass bottle to plastic bottle. SUNQUICK, you are next!! The curve is no longer attractive. Rebranding exercise is a good thing to consider. Add more flavours.

Chicken, fish and meat at the market should be cut, clean and packed to save meal preparation time and to reduce our domestic organic waste. I’d trained my 2-years old son to plant a tree and soon, I will teach him about composting. Everybody should do composting out of their organic waste. Ask yourself this question everyday : What is my contribution to the environment today?

Authorities, please ban plastic bags in Malaysia. Thank you.

All food/snacks should use re-sealable packaging to increase its storage life. No more tying with rubber band or use staplers. That cloth pegs-like thing to seal the food package is not practical. Air still goes in. So does ants.

Backstabbing 101

So far so good.
Two days in this new year, I only ACCIDENTALLY talk bad things about 2 person. Phew. What an achievement!

This morning was quite hard. I don’t like being too hard on my staff but some of them fell into underachiever category due to my lack of firmness. I had to fill up appraisal forms for each one of them and I have to call them one by one and justify why I gave such mark. It was easy for younger staffs but hard for the opposite. I need to be more firm from this point forward.

Judging people is not the field I am good at although I did that unconsciously several times per day. Everybody does that. But putting numbers on others’ discipline level, competencies or proactiveness and those numbers will have a big impact in their future… well, that is the complicated judging task I’m talking about. What if I give a wrong number? What if she actually deserves bigger number?

Why can’t we use merit system for this purpose?